Stripping Down

We have to work to uncover ourselves - to understand what makes us keep secrets, have addictions or blame others for our own errors. We must work to comprehend why we find it difficult to receive or give a compliment, or in what ways we carry shame within us. We need to become comfortable with taking pride in our character and accomplishments. We need to learn the boundaries of our character, how much of ourselves we will compromise, and where we draw the line – or even if we draw the line.

Here is the bottom line: Self-knowledge promotes choice and action. And honestly, many people feel unready for either. So, here is a cheat sheet for you in how to build your awareness:

FOUR Stages to Self-Esteem.

Stage One: Revolution

Developing self-esteem requires an act of revolution, or several mini-revolutions, in which we begin to separate from group thought and establish our own sense of authority. We may suddenly realize we hold an opinion different from our family or our peers, and many times, we will experience difficulty freeing ourselves from the group’s energy.

The act of finding our own voice, even in mini-revolutions, is spiritually significant. Spiritual maturity is the capacity to stand one’s ground as a reflection of a genuine inner belief. When we develop this kind of inner strength, even in small measure, we are more capable of introspection and self-examination. In this way, we gradually replace the influences of our tribal or group mind with our own inner or intuitive guidance.

Stage 2: Involution

Every new encounter or pursuit we have to ask our inner self, “What else do I believe? What else do I think? I want to know myself better.” In every new situation, information pours into our gut. We get 'feelings' about new people and new circumstances. In this phase, we assess our external world and how well it is serving our needs. Often, this self-examination leads us to want to focus on our relationship with God and our life’s purpose, but first we need to develop a level of internal stamina that gives us the strength to handle the consequences of self-examining thought.

Stage 3: Narcissism

Although it has a bad rap, narcissism is sometimes an extremely necessary energy for us as we work to develop a strong sense of self. Giving ourselves a new image – new hairstyle, new clothes, perhaps even a new body shape – indicates that changes are also occurring within us. While we are in this vulnerable stage we may get major critical reactions from our tribal or group associates, but narcisstic energy gives us the backbone to re-create ourselves and our boundaries in the face of opposition. The changes in this stage prepare us for the more significant internal changes to follow.

Stage 4: Evolution

This last stage of developing self-esteem is an internal one. People who can maintain their principles, their dignity, and their faith without compromising any energy from their spirit are internally evolved. As your own spirit takes command, the world will also yield to its force.

There is nothing simple about developing self-understanding, independence, and self-respect, even though the journey consists of only 4 stages. There are no shortcuts to becoming a whole person. We are all on a pilgrimage of sorts. And it is one where we shed the fears that block us from recognizing the beauty in our lives, and to come to a place of healing and self-acceptance.

Want some questions to take a look deeper within? Send me a message and I can arrange that for you.